


a promise

by melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme



Series: doctor/river ficlets :) [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Darillium, F/M, Post-Episode: 2015 Xmas The Husbands of River Song, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:26:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29309538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme/pseuds/melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme
Summary: “So,” he asked, his usual deep voice sounding tentative and hopeful. It was new to his ears - he didn’t usually seek to impress anyone. But River was different. She was always different. “Do you like it?”
Relationships: The Doctor/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/River Song
Series: doctor/river ficlets :) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033860
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	a promise

The Doctor stood behind her, watching her as she strode around the house in wonder, taking in all the little details he added in - her archaeology books that he waded through their room to get, the pictures of them together with the Ponds littered throughout the house, the familiar bow tie he dug up from the back of his closet hanging behind the door to the bedroom - she seemed too overcome with words. He hoped it was a good sign. 

“So,” he asked, his usual deep voice sounding tentative and hopeful. It was new to his ears - he didn’t usually seek to impress anyone. But River was different. She was always different. “Do you like it?”

She turned to him, and he saw with a start that her eyes were filled with tears. But she was smiling, which had to be a good sign. Right? 

“Oh, darling,” she sighed, sniffling and wrapping her arms around herself. He frowned - he knew that when she did that it was always a sign that she was pulling away, protecting herself from something. But he didn’t understand what she needed protection from. “You - you _really_ didn’t have to.”

His frown deepened.

“I know that,” he said gruffly. “But that’s the point, isn’t it? I didn’t need to do it, but I wanted to - for you.” 

She stayed silent for a while, her eyes flickering back to the bow tie behind the door. He could see the wistful, longing look on her face and realised with a pang that he wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted _him_ \- his past self. The other version. 

The version of him that had hurt her so deeply and led her to believe that he didn’t ever love her. 

The Doctor frowned, casting about for ways to convince River that he was one and the same. He never thought he needed to do this - maybe with his other companions, maybe with his friends and maybe with the Ponds - but not with River. Never with River. She was supposed to know that it was him through and through, but he guessed that even she needed a reminder every once in a while.

“I know that this isn’t,” he gestured at himself and amended his words slightly. “That _I’m_ not exactly what you’re looking for. But I’m still him. I’m still your husband, River.”

She looked at him strangely. She was still holding herself but her eyes held a little more mirth than usual as she said, “Of course you are, sweetie. What on Earth made you think otherwise?”

He huffed in annoyance. “Well, what’s wrong then? And don’t give me that rubbish, River. I’m not playing games anymore.”

“But you were so good at those games, sweetie,” she said flirtatiously.

He resisted the urge to smile. He knew she was trying to distract him but it didn’t matter - he wouldn’t let it pass up. After all that, after Manhattan and after their adventure on the spaceship, he’d realised what hiding the damage had done to her. He wasn’t going to allow that to go on any longer.

“Don’t flirt. I don’t flirt anymore.” he deadpanned, and she raised a challenging eyebrow at him. “It’s the eyebrows, they can’t flirt.”

She rolled her eyes and ignored him, turning around. He saw, with another hurtful _pang_ of his hearts, the look on her face soften considerably as she stretched a hand out to touch the bow tie. She let out a small exhale, drawing in a sharp breath as more tears filled her eyes. 

“So... you _are_ staying?” she asked quietly after a while.

He frowned at her, and just as he opened his mouth to answer she turned to look at him with a determined look in her eyes. 

“Because I don’t need you to, Doctor,” she said, in the same quiet tone. “I - I appreciate this. It’s lovely and romantic and - and it’s everything I hoped and dreamed we could have. But I would never keep you here against your will.”

“ _Against my will?”_ he repeated, looking at her as if she’d grown another head in two seconds. 

“I know what you’re trying to do,” she whispered, continuing as though he hadn’t spoken at all. She fingered the material of the bow tie lovingly and pressed it to her chest, looking up at him again. “I know - your apologies have always been bigger and grander than anything you’ve wanted to say to me. But I don’t need this. I don’t -” she looked around at their bedroom, at her things stuffed in the closet and the picture of them at their 68th wedding. “I don’t want to stay and wait for you to leave again.” she finished quietly.

The Doctor knew he probably looked idiotic - he couldn’t stop his mouth from opening and closing like a fish at her words. He wanted to say something - _do_ something that would make her realise that she was interpreting this all wrongly.

“But I’m not leaving,” he blurted out, and the doubtful look she gave him was enough for him to spring to his feet from where he’d been sitting on the bed and stride over to her. “River, this isn’t an apology. It _isn’t.”_ he insisted when the look on her face didn’t change. “Bringing you here, building that restaurant for you - giving you that view; _that_ was the apology. But staying here with you for 24 years - it’s a promise. I’m trying to tell you that - that love is a promise, River.” 

“My love,” she said softly, a tear trailing down from her cheek. He frowned deeper and wiped it away from her skin, watching how her eyes shone in the sunset that was pouring from the windows. “You could hardly stay still with anyone -”

“That’s not true. I wanted to stay with you, even then. I kept asking you to travel with me, remember?” he reminded her, and she closed her eyes tight as more tears fell. “I wanted to be with you. And now we can - we have this house, and two decades and everything we could possibly want.”

She leant her head forward until her forehead touched his shoulder. “Promise?” she whispered, and the Doctor felt himself step so readily into her embrace that it surprised him for several moments - he couldn’t remember the last time he ever _wanted_ to be close to someone.

“I told you - love is a promise,” he whispered in her ear, hugging her so tightly to him lest she wriggled away and escaped again. “And I love you most of all.”


End file.
